Some excerpts from Thanksgiving ....

Vote of thanks : It is with sincere gratitude that I tithe my feelings to y'allz, the great company and the festive moments over thanksgiving weekend. It was all "Fantabulous."

Question ? Guess what happens when you morph the following :

a. unimaginably wild guests minus one (1)
b. stuffed bird (twice)
c. well roasted swine's tush surrounded by pineapple
d. Baked apples
e. Poultry wings
f. Baked 'taters (twice)
g. Part I : malt-loaded beverages (at least twice)
g. Part II : Hennesy, Captain Mo', Absolute, DiGiornio, Ez Jesus
h. Plates with Veggies drawn atop.
i. Creamy greenbeans.
j. Perfectly spherical meat balls.

Answer : Empty bottles, lotsa leftovers, a dance troupe with oblivion up the wazoo as e'body dances their hoohas off, several trips for za-lez, a very busy commode .... oh almost forgot - a premium thanksgiving weekend. So premium it was repeated twice within 72Hours.

Related Incidents :Yours trully, the chef at Cassa de la Sipps, broke a casserole dish by emmersing it in cold aqua right after it exited the oven. I figured something that can stand 550 degrees F can take a small beating. Glass will always be glass. No incidents were reported at Cuisina De Lemz, which could be one of two things. 1 - Lips have been buttoned up ; 2 - No incident. I'm confident it's the latter.

Unrelated Incidents : 'One more' proved once again to be more than 'one more'. And it all commenced on the eve of the eve, Tuesday twilight. Some unnamed personalities decided to 'oncha' one en-route home to rejuvenate their biceps for the next day's 'great move.' An Armchair, a dresser and a picture frame. Moses before climbing that mountain for the tablets had a 'fun' experience with 'maji' - why not we. I sooo see this discussion being had. So movers and shakers assemble for a tricep replenishing encounter to prepare and before you know it - it's 11am tomorrow, uHaul has called last call, and the furniture has grown moss and lichens while waiting. So R makes an executive D: Call A and borrow the B's muscle. Lo' behold - backfired in his face, between chuo, errands and other matters this wasn't happening. Next stop. Burgz. Here we are : Roll call : Couch, sorry Armchair - Present ! Dresser - Present ! Picture frame - Present ! Uhaul - Present! Movers ... Movers .... Moooooovers !!! Absent ! Who is going to move ALL this stuff ??? What a quagmirical scenario to be engulfed in !!! Movees and no movers. Y'allz can catch the rest on your Tivo coz I wasn't there to see the movers arrive and nyandua, kamonga and fyatua some more pints to a point where "We got plans" became "No plan found."

Now the fun part : With vivid memories of a $44 parking ticket while sipping on $20 of Lites at the Wok, I found myself circling the block for a spot like a Nascar driver. This was a perfect midweek. The Williams were ontime - again - The pints were flowing, Oyonka bought some shots, Mogaka was only 1 hour late, the wok was mercilessly searing our meals ... and then out of the blue, he walked in. Clad in a checkered - plaid suit, you know the type with an elbow patch, and a pollar neck or was it a turtle neck ? Anyway regardless that - its color cannot be found on a rainbow so this was not bought at an entry-level clothier like Joyce Leslie. The bar was all hushed up as the Kenyanites who knew him drooled and showered niceties his way. Simultaneously.

I personally me, did like biblical Zacchaeus did and perched myself atop the sycamore tree to catch a glimpse of this big gun. So I shuka the sycamore as soon as he settles down and as his already gigantum ego continues to be stroked, I prod somebody who's in the know to update me. It turns out this big gun is one of the 18,000 aspirants running for some office in a remote area in Nyanza province. What ? To imagine my bbq spare ribs went from blistering hot to just hot coz of this pampered headboy. Sorry, let's not steal anything from his thunder. Pampered Village elder. Bila entourage and security detail I wondered what he was going to offer all these butt-smooching accolade-totting guys caught in childlike awe. Same forest, different apes, so we get back to meaningful business. For all I know, he can kiss a warthog's ass, I'm just angry coz my ribs got cold amidst the drama.

On we go, more raos, less politics, bbq rib bones have now fossilized, Kylene is still ignoring us, 6 years down the line, what a scam. Oh and u better carry your Texas Instrument if you plan to open a tab there otherwise you will be fleeced for your Merino wool. Her abacus must be broken coz clients, and I generalize here - stay with me, seem to get into heated spats with her when closing their tabs. Word from the wise, ripa bere ya kura.

Last call inevitably reached us and before the Williams could even let out the 'G' of goodnite out it was unanimously, synonymously and annonymously decided that we catch 'one more.' Around the corner. It is at this location where GG's parking skills were showcased like she was auditioning for a CEO position at Central Parking. Even the curb was smiling and enjoying all it's 'under six inches' from the guzi's regs. If ever the word "mixed" meant anything, it was in the Lex-and-Mall bar. Where else dyu go if u wanna see drunk Miroz eating frog legs and plantains with Phillipinos who rap and call each other B and N, while listening to John Mellencamp; all this while locals sip on Amstel and foreigners guzzle Bud. The Miroz are properly dressed while Koreans are being frozen for wearing white Tees and baseball caps. Huh !!! Whats next ? Jehovahs witness putting some D's on it ?

Just when randomness was getting etched into our past, this Random republican waltzes in like he was meeting some people. And some people, indeed, he met. He proceeds to say hello to everybody in our midst coz he remembered someone's face from a photo album of one his distant cousin's neighbors best friend. Surely who uses photo albums anymore ? Whatever happened to facebook, and btw I'm the only person North of the Equator who is bila a facebook. I'll get me a facebook soon and put it in y'alls myspaces and make a youtube of y'alls Hi-5ing each other after that. Don't even test me I'm the LSAT kinda guy, and that's during lunch.

Aaaaanyway back to his randomness, after he grossly bored me with his presence I decided to make a beeline for the bar, where I had a good excuse to be. Can you imagine his randomness followed me there and while I'm ASSERTIVELY and DECISIVELY placing my order, he cuts me off and asks Phan, the bartender, what drinks she has back there. Even embarrasment cannot hang with this dude. You f-ing retard, that's like going to a hotdog stand and asking for a menu. If you took a chinese figurine, poured that chia pet water on it’s head till green hair grew, then gave it to Hulk Hogan; he would choose it for Christmas over this comic as a free shambaboy. Jeeez, I had to go wooooosa like Martin in Bad Boys II, breathe - this guy has been sent to try me and Tran. Even she couldn't believe it. This is just the eve and we have to deal with this, so Phan adopts her contigency plan and continues to serve me. I dunno how that exchange ended between them but as I passed by later I saw him sitting up the bar with a big red glass, looking like The Undercover Drag Queen he really is. Someone will be dismantling him like a lego toy and I aint going to be around to see it.

The night prog ………… out of ink fellaz : More next time .....